Thursday, August 29, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Enter A Girl and Her Band! I normally go for a wider band because the smaller ones don't stay in my hair. So I wasn't so sure about it but give equal opportunity to every headband I meet lol
"Our program will show each participant how we came up with the idea for our business and the steps we took to incorporate. We will also show participants how we went about choosing a name, logo, building a website, sourcing materials, interviewing manufacturers and other aspects involved in the startup and day to day running of AGAHB."
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Monday, August 26, 2013
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
What was the question?
"Why did you let yourself get to 360 pounds?"
I'm not exactly sure why that weight was the wake up point for me honestly. It just was. Thankfully.
That was kinda summed up and prettified so I'll try to elaborate.
I have always been an emotional eater. It's part of my personality and how I was raised. When my parent's divorced, we were raised by my mom and grandmother (Nana). My mom worked at night as a nurse and my grandmother picked up when my mom needed to rest or work. It was a very stressful time and I remember us not having much food in the house for a long time. When it got particularly stressful, we all got treated to stuff like ice cream and cookies. When everything was going great, we got ice cream and cookies. This started the cycle.
When things got heated in my house the first thing to be pointed out was my weight. I was accused of eating all the food in the house and if I would stop eating I would be beautiful. At first I got confused and then out right defiant since at that point I wasn't sneaking food. So what did I do? I started sneaking food.
Did I say this was a hard question to answer?
I'll stop there but hopefully you get a little on how I started.
Now back to how I let myself get that big.
I just didn't see myself as 360 pounds. I avoided pictures. I knew I was getting bigger but I didn't step on the scale when I started the "big life altering weight loss journey" until I think the third day of starting. It was a shocking experience. It was at the doctor's office because my scale at home wouldn't go past 300 pounds. I cried. I remember asking myself why. I swore I wasn't eating a lot (what a lie lol) and didn't know how I did it. Luckily I didn't want to hear my own excuses.
In reality, it took time to gain it.
I didn't suddenly balloon up. It took years for me to get up that high. We moved to Florida and completely away from my family. I was a stay at home mom and submerged myself into playgroups and focused on being a mom. It was a complete identity crisis that I lived with for years. To deal I ate. At the time I had no idea what was wrong or why I was so freaking unhappy.
It didn't really dawn on me a little bit until Hurricane Katrina happened. Being so far away from my friends and family while they were going through the devastation was super hard on me. I felt even more lost. We had decided before Katrina to move back to the New Orleans area but the urgency I felt afterwards was almost mind numbing. My emotional eating again escalated. At this point I buying almost 5 boxes of Little Debbies a day and eating all of them before my husband would get home from work. If he was out of town, it meant nights that I wouldn't sleep much and I would eat almost the entire time.
By the time we moved back home to Louisiana I was in such a big downward spiral. Kind of like an out of control train. It wasn't stopping no matter how much I told myself I needed to. I was always crying, never laughing, miserable and thought about committing suicide almost all of the time. I remember pulling up to a tree and just envisioning myself ramming my SUV into it as hard as I could to kill myself. I just felt like I was drowning and forgot how to swim.
I reached out to my best friend and told her how I was feeling. She alerted my husband and I started seeing someone. They put me on wellbutrin and I was encouraged to become more involved with the direct sales company I was with by going to their convention in New Orleans so I could get some time to myself.
I know it's not a real answer for the question but that is how I came to start slowly waking up and giving myself the permission to turn myself into who I wanted to be :)
The number itself wasn't the issue. It was the internal things that were going on that made me change.....not the number.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
I was SO nervous! I have run multiple 5Ks and 10Ks but this was totally out of my realm. Plus to boot I didn't train hardly at all except run.
In April, I was supposed to do this triathlon but it got stormed out. All of that training down the drain lol
So back to this one.
My husband got up with me around 4am and gathered up our 3 kids while I made sure I had all of my gear. We had to drive almost 2 hours to LSU from Slidell. I felt bad they came with me but I was so excited they were there too...if that makes any sense.
We get there and I grab my gear and bike. I head over to transition and find where I need to put my stuff. The grass was just cut and I saw that I forgot my towel. Yay??? I don't have much time to think about it since they were closing transition to start the swimming.
Which waiting for swimming in a pool took fooooorevvvveeeeerrrrr. 400+ women signed up for this and the duathlon that was going on at the same time.
Luckily I ran into a friend of mine and we had fun catching up in line.
Soon enough it was my turn to swim!
First transition went smoother than I thought without my towel. I admit I wiped my feet off on my backpack that had my gear in it. It did the trick!
Friday, August 2, 2013
This is the only time that I don't get to take time for myself.
Which is partly my fault. I'm afraid to ask anyone to watch them because we are supposed to be going back to Amsterdam this year. That trip will be 10 days long & I'll need to have my family all watch the kids then :) I guess I'm saving up babysitting points lol
So how do I make sure I do not stress eat?
I have been getting up earlier than them. Sometimes I workout. Other times I just lay in bed and read a book to relax. It helps.
Annnnnnnnd sometimes my kids tag team me with the fighting, whining, screaming and I wind up stress eating.
What do I do when that happens?
I forgive myself and move on. I don't beat myself up. I don't just give up for the rest of the day. I hit the reset button and start new again.
|See that? Hit it.|
So just know that you aren't alone. If you aren't waiting to go on a big kid-less vacation to Europe, give them to someone you trust and go enjoy yourself <3 You deserve it.
Monday, when my husband comes home I'll be running out of this house so fast that they won't know what happened lol